Putting Some Direction On This Story To Avoid Annoying Anonymous Fans
Rule Number 8 in the Q Dimension: No more naming people Roger, got it?!
ROGER sat in the back of the dark and mysterious truck, bound, gagged and de-Batman-costumed, feeling very sorry for himself, as only an anthropomorphised ex-human giraffe without a Batman costume can.
Three dark and mysterious thugs sat watching him, and muttering to themselves about how they never got to sit in the front, but always had to guard the anthropomorphic prisoners, and how unfair it was, and how come Larry gets to ride up the front?
Eventually, another thug approached from further up the truck, and beckoned the other three to de-gag ROGER.
"Whats going on?" ROGER gasped as soon as he was gag-free (which didn't take long, as he was never really that funny).
The last thug to arrive - obviously the spokes-thug - spoke in reply: "Mwhahahaha!"
Oh, wait, no, that was actually a nefarious laugh. He did that first, and then he replied: "ROGER, we meet again" - which come to think of it, isn't really much better as a reply, its more of a separate statement altogether, but it was the best the thug was going to offer.
Realising this, ROGER asked a different question: "Who are you?"
"Don't you know?" the thug mocked, before removing his mask to reveal...
"Roger!" gasped ROGER.
There was a quick moment of unease, followed by another of the thugs leaning over and whispering something about Rule 8 in ROGER's ear.
"Oh, sorry about that," ROGER apologised, before gasping, "Harold!"
"Yes," the spokes-thug, aka Harold, laughed, "It is I, Harold! Thats right, along with Roger, I was your roommate at school - it was a boarding school - and when you and Roger were picked for the ballet team, I was left out, and made to join the.." he began tearing up as he concluded: "...rugby team instead."
There were simpathetic gasps from the other thugs at this revelation, but Harold wasn't finished...
"Because of your cruelty in neglecting my friendship, I swore revenge, and in a handy co-incidence, I have been doing a summer internship for E. Ville Jeenius, which has made revenge a heck-of-a-lot easier!"
"But how is this revenge?" ROGER asked, trying to clarify exactly how this chapter was putting direction on the story...
"Well," Harold sniggered, "You have been turned into a giraffe by Ernie (thats Mr Ville Jeenius to you!) but what you don't realise is that if you don't get turned back into your human form by 3pm tomorrow afternoon..."
"...I'll remain a giraffe forever?!" guessed ROGER.
"No, its much worse than that!" Harold smiled, "The giraffe form is only the first of many forms you will take between now and then, as you slowly devolve into your final form, the lowest of all life-forms in the universe: a used-car-salesman named Frank!!"
"Noooo!!!" ROGER screamed, before a puzzled expression crossed his face.
"But I don't understand. I don't believe in evolution!"
"This is devolution," clarified Harold, "It's entirely different."
"So," Harold continued, eager to wrap up the chapter after such a lot of exposition, "In conclusion: if I can keep you from finding the transmogrifier ray by 3pm..."
"The what?" interrupted ROGER again, "I thought I had to travel 7000 trillion miles and find some shapeshifter."
"No, that would be impossible by 3pm tomorrow, and anyway, everyone knows Shapeshifter was in Christchurch just the other day. So we've added in the transmogrifier ray to give you a fighting chance, and to let you avoid going to Christchurch, because that would get in the way of the rebuilding going on. Now please, no more interruptions. In conclusion, if I can keep you from finding the transmogrifier ray, or Shapeshifter, by 3pm tomorrow afternoon, well, to be frank, you will be!!"
ROGER sat still for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened at the end of that last sentence.
Eventually he got it.
"Oh, that was lame," he muttered.
Lesser Chapter **** Greater Chapter
ROGER sat in the back of the dark and mysterious truck, bound, gagged and de-Batman-costumed, feeling very sorry for himself, as only an anthropomorphised ex-human giraffe without a Batman costume can.
Three dark and mysterious thugs sat watching him, and muttering to themselves about how they never got to sit in the front, but always had to guard the anthropomorphic prisoners, and how unfair it was, and how come Larry gets to ride up the front?
Eventually, another thug approached from further up the truck, and beckoned the other three to de-gag ROGER.
"Whats going on?" ROGER gasped as soon as he was gag-free (which didn't take long, as he was never really that funny).
The last thug to arrive - obviously the spokes-thug - spoke in reply: "Mwhahahaha!"
Oh, wait, no, that was actually a nefarious laugh. He did that first, and then he replied: "ROGER, we meet again" - which come to think of it, isn't really much better as a reply, its more of a separate statement altogether, but it was the best the thug was going to offer.
Realising this, ROGER asked a different question: "Who are you?"
"Don't you know?" the thug mocked, before removing his mask to reveal...
"Roger!" gasped ROGER.
There was a quick moment of unease, followed by another of the thugs leaning over and whispering something about Rule 8 in ROGER's ear.
"Oh, sorry about that," ROGER apologised, before gasping, "Harold!"
"Yes," the spokes-thug, aka Harold, laughed, "It is I, Harold! Thats right, along with Roger, I was your roommate at school - it was a boarding school - and when you and Roger were picked for the ballet team, I was left out, and made to join the.." he began tearing up as he concluded: "...rugby team instead."
There were simpathetic gasps from the other thugs at this revelation, but Harold wasn't finished...
"Because of your cruelty in neglecting my friendship, I swore revenge, and in a handy co-incidence, I have been doing a summer internship for E. Ville Jeenius, which has made revenge a heck-of-a-lot easier!"
"But how is this revenge?" ROGER asked, trying to clarify exactly how this chapter was putting direction on the story...
"Well," Harold sniggered, "You have been turned into a giraffe by Ernie (thats Mr Ville Jeenius to you!) but what you don't realise is that if you don't get turned back into your human form by 3pm tomorrow afternoon..."
"...I'll remain a giraffe forever?!" guessed ROGER.
"No, its much worse than that!" Harold smiled, "The giraffe form is only the first of many forms you will take between now and then, as you slowly devolve into your final form, the lowest of all life-forms in the universe: a used-car-salesman named Frank!!"
"Noooo!!!" ROGER screamed, before a puzzled expression crossed his face.
"But I don't understand. I don't believe in evolution!"
"This is devolution," clarified Harold, "It's entirely different."
"So," Harold continued, eager to wrap up the chapter after such a lot of exposition, "In conclusion: if I can keep you from finding the transmogrifier ray by 3pm..."
"The what?" interrupted ROGER again, "I thought I had to travel 7000 trillion miles and find some shapeshifter."
"No, that would be impossible by 3pm tomorrow, and anyway, everyone knows Shapeshifter was in Christchurch just the other day. So we've added in the transmogrifier ray to give you a fighting chance, and to let you avoid going to Christchurch, because that would get in the way of the rebuilding going on. Now please, no more interruptions. In conclusion, if I can keep you from finding the transmogrifier ray, or Shapeshifter, by 3pm tomorrow afternoon, well, to be frank, you will be!!"
ROGER sat still for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened at the end of that last sentence.
Eventually he got it.
"Oh, that was lame," he muttered.
Lesser Chapter **** Greater Chapter
posted by Lark Victory | 8:26 PM
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