A Chapter That Is Bigger Than Sonny Bill's Biceps
Rule Number 25 in the Q Dimension: Most people have 6 toes...
As quickly as the trashcan had arrived on the scene, (and I have it under good authority that its appearance was described by witnesses as 'sudden and without warning'), it left it.
Harold and the Martins all stared in shock at the space where the trashcan once was. The mini-Ernies (each approximately 156mm tall, give or take) ran around Harold's feet insisting loudly in their squeaky little voices that in fact being small made them now more evil than before, because as everyone knows, small things can in fact be very evil indeed. For example; thumbtacks if you sit on them, toes if you stub them, and Lindsey Lohan's brain if you ask it what it would like to do this weekend.
Martin Schpitowksi laughed benevolently. "Haha! Look at the little Ernies! So cute!" The little Ernies promptly rounded on Schpitowski, attacking his remaining leg with vicious force. He fell to the ground, and the mini Ernies swarmed all over his now horizontal form, like a swarm of shoppers swarming towards the Warehouse on Boxing Day. By the time the Ernies withdrew, there was nothing left on the ground but Schpitowski's wristwatch.
(Don't worry, they didn't eat him or kill him or anything. But last I heard Schpitowski was found several days later hopping in a random direction out in a desert somewhere, dazed and confused. Oh, and he didn't know what time it was.)
The Ernies rounded menacingly on Martin Johnson. Stenhoffenburger rummaged through his pockets for batteries, desperate to help his fellow Martin before it was too late and he too lost his wristwatch. (It was on the arm he still had, by the way.) He didn't find any, but he did manage to locate 2 dollars (YES!), 100gm of lint, a pen that no longer worked, and a bus ticket. He shoved what he had found into the proton laser and tried to fire it at one of the teensy weensy Ernies. It failed, and somehow the gun ate his 2 dollars in the process. Dangit!
The first mini Ernie clambered up Johnson's leg. He kicked wildly, collecting one of the wee evil geniuses with his boot and sending him flying. However, mini Ernies are very strong, and the microscopic megalomaniac simply bounced a few times, and lept up, completely fine, and charged back at Johnson.
Harold, amidst all of this, was frozen in indecision. Help his boss (now bosses) murder his new friends? Or help his new friends murder his bosses? Oh, the tribulation!
Cat began to exhibit signs of distress. Well, more accurately, Cat did a wee down Harold's top and began to make a lot of noise and squirm in Harold's arm.
"mraaa!"
"mmmmmrrraaaaa!!!"
"MRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Cat howled, again and again, each new howl rising in volume, until eventually Harold had to drop him and cover his ears with his hands.
Cat fell to the ground, and began immediately to spin around on the floor, like an 80s breakdancer, or a record, or a roulette table. Take your pick.
Then Cat began to shake.
Then he started to levitate off the ground, and glow a violent purple colour!
And all of a sudden there was a loud POP!, and all of the 5 personalities that Cat's poor mind had been housing shot out of Cat's feline ears and entered the mini Ernies, of which (conveniently) there were 6. One of them missed out, but the others each got one! Score!
Sadly, there wasn't enough room in the mini Ernie minds for two personalities (like I said, Cat was a nonconformist, with a very spacious mind it would seem!), so the previous tenants were obliterated.
And now there were 6 mini Ernies with 6 entirely unique personalities! Yay!
Oh, and Johnson survived the attacks.
Previous chapter : : Next Chapter
As quickly as the trashcan had arrived on the scene, (and I have it under good authority that its appearance was described by witnesses as 'sudden and without warning'), it left it.
Harold and the Martins all stared in shock at the space where the trashcan once was. The mini-Ernies (each approximately 156mm tall, give or take) ran around Harold's feet insisting loudly in their squeaky little voices that in fact being small made them now more evil than before, because as everyone knows, small things can in fact be very evil indeed. For example; thumbtacks if you sit on them, toes if you stub them, and Lindsey Lohan's brain if you ask it what it would like to do this weekend.
Martin Schpitowksi laughed benevolently. "Haha! Look at the little Ernies! So cute!" The little Ernies promptly rounded on Schpitowski, attacking his remaining leg with vicious force. He fell to the ground, and the mini Ernies swarmed all over his now horizontal form, like a swarm of shoppers swarming towards the Warehouse on Boxing Day. By the time the Ernies withdrew, there was nothing left on the ground but Schpitowski's wristwatch.
(Don't worry, they didn't eat him or kill him or anything. But last I heard Schpitowski was found several days later hopping in a random direction out in a desert somewhere, dazed and confused. Oh, and he didn't know what time it was.)
The Ernies rounded menacingly on Martin Johnson. Stenhoffenburger rummaged through his pockets for batteries, desperate to help his fellow Martin before it was too late and he too lost his wristwatch. (It was on the arm he still had, by the way.) He didn't find any, but he did manage to locate 2 dollars (YES!), 100gm of lint, a pen that no longer worked, and a bus ticket. He shoved what he had found into the proton laser and tried to fire it at one of the teensy weensy Ernies. It failed, and somehow the gun ate his 2 dollars in the process. Dangit!
The first mini Ernie clambered up Johnson's leg. He kicked wildly, collecting one of the wee evil geniuses with his boot and sending him flying. However, mini Ernies are very strong, and the microscopic megalomaniac simply bounced a few times, and lept up, completely fine, and charged back at Johnson.
Harold, amidst all of this, was frozen in indecision. Help his boss (now bosses) murder his new friends? Or help his new friends murder his bosses? Oh, the tribulation!
Cat began to exhibit signs of distress. Well, more accurately, Cat did a wee down Harold's top and began to make a lot of noise and squirm in Harold's arm.
"mraaa!"
"mmmmmrrraaaaa!!!"
"MRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Cat howled, again and again, each new howl rising in volume, until eventually Harold had to drop him and cover his ears with his hands.
Cat fell to the ground, and began immediately to spin around on the floor, like an 80s breakdancer, or a record, or a roulette table. Take your pick.
Then Cat began to shake.
Then he started to levitate off the ground, and glow a violent purple colour!
And all of a sudden there was a loud POP!, and all of the 5 personalities that Cat's poor mind had been housing shot out of Cat's feline ears and entered the mini Ernies, of which (conveniently) there were 6. One of them missed out, but the others each got one! Score!
Sadly, there wasn't enough room in the mini Ernie minds for two personalities (like I said, Cat was a nonconformist, with a very spacious mind it would seem!), so the previous tenants were obliterated.
And now there were 6 mini Ernies with 6 entirely unique personalities! Yay!
Oh, and Johnson survived the attacks.
Previous chapter : : Next Chapter
posted by Musings | 9:05 PM
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