Explore "scenic" Gore! What a bore!
Timothy pedalled up and down Gore's main streets pathetically, trying to use his 5% in School C geography skills to remember on what one of Gore's three streets the river was situated.
Suddenly, and without warning, a brainwave hit him like an ice-cube down the back. (It was a chilling shock and a thrill at the same time, in other words.)
"Jimmy didn't say docks! He said DAIRY! How can I have been so deaf!"
"Perhaps it's this large piece of chewing gum stuck in your ear?" Yolanda said, pulling 3 feet of gum out of Timothy's ear.
"Oh yes!" Timothy cried. "I keep my gum in my ear for safekeeping! It also keeps my ear minty fresh! New Xtra plus whitening keeps your breath fresh, your teeth white, and stains your ear in a peculiar way!"
After that short and subliminal advertising speel Timothy was quite tired so he focused all his remaining energy on cycling to Merv's Superette (a.k.a the only dairy in Gore.)
At Merv's superette, a shady character was standing shadily near the coke fridge. He was one of those people who automatically have some shade reserved just for them, even on really sunny days!
Enter Yolanda.
"Are you Jimmy Fettucini? Can you help us find the George, get rid of Beven for good, and renovate my bathroom?"
The shady character stepped forward.
"The first two I can do. The last one, not so easy." He said in a stereotypically wheezy Mafia-style voice. "And yes, I am "The Godfather" of Gore organised crime." (Gore organised crime was a big business. Last year, they stole two packets of chewing gum when Merv accidentally fell asleep. They were currently planning an operation which would involve stealing candy from a baby.)
Enter Timothy, breathing heavily and clutching his side like a man who had the stitch. (He had the stitch.)
"Hey....Jimmy.... How's it going? How's your evilly evil gang of Mafia sidekicks doing?"
"They're both fine." Wheezed Jimmy. "Your broad here wants me to do youse a favour. But it's gonna cost ya. How about we retire to my offices."
Timothy and Yolanda docily followed Jimmy out the back door of the dairy and into the midst of the city tip.
"Right," the Godfather said, "now we're in business."
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Suddenly, and without warning, a brainwave hit him like an ice-cube down the back. (It was a chilling shock and a thrill at the same time, in other words.)
"Jimmy didn't say docks! He said DAIRY! How can I have been so deaf!"
"Perhaps it's this large piece of chewing gum stuck in your ear?" Yolanda said, pulling 3 feet of gum out of Timothy's ear.
"Oh yes!" Timothy cried. "I keep my gum in my ear for safekeeping! It also keeps my ear minty fresh! New Xtra plus whitening keeps your breath fresh, your teeth white, and stains your ear in a peculiar way!"
After that short and subliminal advertising speel Timothy was quite tired so he focused all his remaining energy on cycling to Merv's Superette (a.k.a the only dairy in Gore.)
At Merv's superette, a shady character was standing shadily near the coke fridge. He was one of those people who automatically have some shade reserved just for them, even on really sunny days!
Enter Yolanda.
"Are you Jimmy Fettucini? Can you help us find the George, get rid of Beven for good, and renovate my bathroom?"
The shady character stepped forward.
"The first two I can do. The last one, not so easy." He said in a stereotypically wheezy Mafia-style voice. "And yes, I am "The Godfather" of Gore organised crime." (Gore organised crime was a big business. Last year, they stole two packets of chewing gum when Merv accidentally fell asleep. They were currently planning an operation which would involve stealing candy from a baby.)
Enter Timothy, breathing heavily and clutching his side like a man who had the stitch. (He had the stitch.)
"Hey....Jimmy.... How's it going? How's your evilly evil gang of Mafia sidekicks doing?"
"They're both fine." Wheezed Jimmy. "Your broad here wants me to do youse a favour. But it's gonna cost ya. How about we retire to my offices."
Timothy and Yolanda docily followed Jimmy out the back door of the dairy and into the midst of the city tip.
"Right," the Godfather said, "now we're in business."
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posted by Musings | 6:15 PM
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