A Helpful Tip

Seventeen full-grown flies and three baby flies (out for a family picnic at the tip) buzzed quietly in the background as Timothy and Yolanda explained their sad tale to Jimmy, while all three sat on a large pile of what had (hopefully) once been old pizza boxes.

"Dat dere wuz da saddest story eyez hoid sins I watched Poidi Woomun*" Jimmy sniffed when they had finished, his stereotypical mafia accent getting even worse with emotion.
(*translation: That was really sad)

"Are you crying?" Yolanda asked him incredulously.
Jimmy just muttered something incoherent* and rubbed his tear-filled eyes with his rough gangster hands.
(*translation: I just have something in my eye, thats all, and it might have once been pizza)

There was a polite silence (the sort that emerges naturally in the situation where someone who is obviously emotionally distraught may kill you if you choose to comment inappropriately) as The Godfather recovered his cool. Eventually, Timothy plucked up his courage, and spoke.
"So, do you think that you might, possibly, be able to help us get 'The George' back from Beven?"
"I'za don' know," Jimmy said vaguely, holding his empty hand casually out towards Timothy in a gesture that anyone with two brain-cells or more would have taken to mean 'Give me some money and we can talk more.'
Timothy, on the other hand, took this to mean 'Sure, I'll help you, lets shake on it' and so promptly shook Jimmy's hand.
"Thanks, Jimmy, you're a pal," Timothy said, smiling, and leaping to his feet in excitement.
"So," he continued, "What shall we do?"

Startled by this translation of his gesture, Jimmy found himself going along with this agreement, and offering his help.
"I'll lend youse Franky Q and Mikey B," Jimmy decided, "And, if you want, I'll throw in Ali G for good measure."
Timothy thought about this offer for a moment. "Can I trade you Ali G for Arnie Y? He and I go way back, and I never really got Ali's sense of humour, and his split personality 'Borat' thing."
Jimmy nodded in agreement, and snapped his fingers with pizzicato overtones.

Immediately a pile of grass clippings rolled aside, and three mafioso (smelling surprisingly good for having been concealed under rubbish) appeared.
"Franky, Mikey, and Arnier, youse three go wid these two. Youse'a gonna help them get back Timmy D's pet rock... and bring back some nachos wid you too, when youse'a done, capish?"
The three thugs nodded obediently, and followed Timothy and Yolanda back into Gore Central.
They had some planning to do....

Previous Chapter Next Chapter