01

The World-Famous (to some people) online-novels of Lark and Musings, for you to sit back and enjoy in the quietness of your own home. Warning, all novels may contain traces of nuts, and insanity in large doses. (Reading hint: For more enjoyment and less wanting-to-die-from-how-stupid-it-all-is, L&M Blognovels are suggested read in smaller doses, rather than in one sitting).

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Trying to be random never works does it.

Two seconds later, Timothy, Yolanda, Frankie Q, Mikey B, and Arnie Y arrived in the centre of Gore.
"Right!" declared Timothy, determined to take charge. "We need some way of locating Beven and his evil lair!"
The others all looked at each other blankly until a sudden brainwave hit Arnie Y like a brick hitting a grown man between the legs. (He gave a small yip and remembered it for a long time after, in other words.)
"We could try the phonebook!"
Yolanda looked at Arnie Y as if he had just suggested they all go swimming in a pool full of sharks naked.
"You really think Beven would be stupid enough to leave his number in a public directory? What kind of moron are you?"
Frankie Q ran out of Merv's superette (which was conveniently close by, don't you just love that about Gore) clutching a phonebook open to the "B" page.
"Yolanda's right chaps! Jolly good show, what, he's not in here old boys!"
A second sudden brainwave hit Arnie Y much like the first. (Due to Arnie Y's intense stupidity, brainwaves were about as rare as the meat in a McDonald's hamburger actually being ham. Or even being meat.)
"Check his last name!" he blurted, and then collapsed on the ground, exhausted after the effort of producing two brainwaves in the same week.
"Yeah, Timothy." Yolanda said sarcastically. "What's Beven's last name. Becasue of course he's going to be stupid enough to give all his personal details away freely."
Timothy closely studied the Gore phonebook. Both pages.
"Here's a Beven! The only Beven in the book! He lives at 2 Evil Lair Road!"
"What's his last name?" Yolanda asked. "Perhaps it will jog my memory of the Backgammon tournament!"
Timothy looked down at the book.
"His last name is..............Crackerpants!"
"Yes!" bellowed Yolanda like a water buffalo. "BEVEN CRACKERPANTS, HERE WE COME!"

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home