When the rubber hits the road
"Yes!" howled Beven, "It is me! And I'm here to claim you back- WIFE!"
"I'm not your wife!" cried Yolanda. "You're just psychologically insecure over coming second in the backgammon nationals and you're here to try for a rematch!"
"Oh yeah." realised Beven. "Sorry, haven't read the script much lately. I can never see the whole page because my nose is too big. BUT YES! I want a rematch! I'm sure you cheated me in that final! I practiced night and day to beat you and I didn't want a measly silver medal!"
"Gee, and I thought I needed I life!" said Timothy.
"Shut up boney! You want to see your rock again? I won't tell you where it is unless you hand over the Backgammon board over which I will slaughter Yolanda at the game she cheats at!"
A sudden brainwave hit Yolanda like a brick hitting a fat woman's bottom. (It quickly sunk in, in other words.)
"The George is under the carpet outside my flat Timothy! Beven's got nothing on us!"
Suddenly Reginald leapt forward and started a catchy little ditty in the key of G.
"Beven, Beven, you're off to jail,
for Yolanda and Tim,
you tried to blackmail.
It's behind bars for life,
for causing all this strife,
you've been a very naughty man,
so I'm taking you straight to the can."
"Noooooo!" cried Beven, and he sprinted away from Reginald. A fleeting cry was heard; "I'll be back...."
"Well! That was the most exciting thing that's happened to me since I overstated The Warehouse's Revenue figures by 200 million dollars and got put in prison for fraud!" Timothy cried.
"You've been to prison?" Yolanda asked. "You have a dark side?"
"Oh yes!" replied Timothy brightly. "I've committed all sorts of crimes, mafia hits, big business cons, I'm a regular Al Capone! But I burnt out. I wanted power, but all I got was a bullet wound in the knee. So I gave that up years ago. Ok, months ago. Ok, last week. Anyway! Lets head home!"
Yolanda dazedly followed Timothy home. What a man! How exciting! She had always been attracted to a bit of danger....
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"I'm not your wife!" cried Yolanda. "You're just psychologically insecure over coming second in the backgammon nationals and you're here to try for a rematch!"
"Oh yeah." realised Beven. "Sorry, haven't read the script much lately. I can never see the whole page because my nose is too big. BUT YES! I want a rematch! I'm sure you cheated me in that final! I practiced night and day to beat you and I didn't want a measly silver medal!"
"Gee, and I thought I needed I life!" said Timothy.
"Shut up boney! You want to see your rock again? I won't tell you where it is unless you hand over the Backgammon board over which I will slaughter Yolanda at the game she cheats at!"
A sudden brainwave hit Yolanda like a brick hitting a fat woman's bottom. (It quickly sunk in, in other words.)
"The George is under the carpet outside my flat Timothy! Beven's got nothing on us!"
Suddenly Reginald leapt forward and started a catchy little ditty in the key of G.
"Beven, Beven, you're off to jail,
for Yolanda and Tim,
you tried to blackmail.
It's behind bars for life,
for causing all this strife,
you've been a very naughty man,
so I'm taking you straight to the can."
"Noooooo!" cried Beven, and he sprinted away from Reginald. A fleeting cry was heard; "I'll be back...."
"Well! That was the most exciting thing that's happened to me since I overstated The Warehouse's Revenue figures by 200 million dollars and got put in prison for fraud!" Timothy cried.
"You've been to prison?" Yolanda asked. "You have a dark side?"
"Oh yes!" replied Timothy brightly. "I've committed all sorts of crimes, mafia hits, big business cons, I'm a regular Al Capone! But I burnt out. I wanted power, but all I got was a bullet wound in the knee. So I gave that up years ago. Ok, months ago. Ok, last week. Anyway! Lets head home!"
Yolanda dazedly followed Timothy home. What a man! How exciting! She had always been attracted to a bit of danger....
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posted by Musings | 5:38 PM
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