Nerd boy’s other secret power

Nerd boy seemed quite happy there tied to his pole, so Prof. Happyjoy left him there with just Wanchai to guard him. (Bass Reflex System went to the gym and lifted weights. Extremely Talented Ice skater, who, conveniently, was an extremely talented fisherman, went fishing.)
Suddenly a syringe containing strange green goo appeared out of thin air and flew into Nerd Boy’s arm. (Olaf had realised that fruit probably wasn’t the best policy and had secretly limped into the Yeejabberwhatsit hospital ‘experimental’ ward. Ignoring the clucking rubber chickens and fish that taste like beef, he found the goo.)
** SIDE STORY ** The origin of the goo **
One day two of Yeejabberwhatsit hospital’s best, most bestest bestestedly best, bestest in the whole wide world super-surgeons, who were soooo smart and soooo intelligent and current caretakers of the ‘experimental’ ward, quit. And two entirely different people replaced them. They weren’t even surgeons. They weren’t even doctors. (Yeejabberwhatsit had a serious bank debt, you see. This was due to them purchasing a life size, pure gold statue of Paul Holmes.) They weren’t even nurses. They weren’t even morticians. They weren’t even interns. They weren’t even hospital librarians. They were much worse… ex road workers.
For a while the ‘experimental’ ward prospered under the road workers philosophy; ‘if it ain’t broke, hit it with a hammer, if it is broke, hit it with a bigger hammer’ until one day, the hospital director asked the road workers to make a substance that enhanced muscle size and brain power. Being true slackers, they surfed the web until they found a young nerd with a recipe for such a substance. Being even truer slackers, when they gathered the ingredients the ones that were too hard to find were replaced with substitutes. Instead of ‘blood of raven’ they used ‘blood of Murray’s nose after it got hit with a hammer three times.’ Instead of ‘fine fairy dust’ they used ‘grade 2 cement from Murray’s depot, bought for free after we threatened to hit his nose a fourth time.’ And worst of all, instead of ‘dragon scale’ they used ‘Murray’s wife’s kitchen scales.’
Poor Murray.
Poor Nerd Boy!
** SIDE STORY OVER **
So anyway, the goo flew into Nerd boy’s arm. His muscles bulged a few times bigger. YES, A FEW TIMES! (Who cares if that doesn’t make grammatical sense!) His brain power increased to metapsychic capabilities! And, due to the differing ingredients, he grew an extra spleen, turned a pastel shade of mauve, and his face began to strangely resemble Michael Jackson’s!
Using a powerful muscular surge he broke free of his bonds! Using a powerful mental surge he crushed Wanchai to a pulp!
"ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!" He roared. Well, what did you expect him to say?

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