Bridget Jones 2: The edge of reason

"My plan," Nicholas proposed, (Sally said no), "is simple."
"Good!! I can't handle anything too complicated, like that time I tried to work out that crossword clue!" Sally exclaimed.
Nicholas looked at her. "What was the clue?" He queried.
"The better looking of the two blog novelists! 7 letters!"
Nicholas tried not to laugh. "Well, Sally, the answer is Musings. Everybody knows that!"
Sally sighed. "I guess I would've known that if I wasn't such a dumb blonde. Gosh! Nicholas, Harry must be stopped! At all costs!"
Nicholas stood up tall, like a Tall Black. "We can do it, Sally. Now listen to my plan...."

*** (Obviously we as readers are unable to learn the contents of the plan until it has actually been carried out, otherwise the blog would be far less exciting and unpredictable.) ***

Harry had been having quite a good day, until his stupid assistant Carol Nickles spilt the coffee over his desk. Now he was in a diabolically bad mood. Quite typical of evil geniuses, really.
He walked up to Sally's parents and leered at them. "Well, looks like you're not getting rescued today either!"
"Why would we be rescued?" Sally's father asked in a bored, stockbroker-ey kind of voice. "Our two children are the only ones that know we are here, and one of them is a dumb blonde who can't tell her left from her right! (And the other doesn't feature much in this blognovel.)"
Harry laughed! "I KNOW! And that's why I'm going to win the MATHS OLYMPICS! And then plan Fishmonger'sWife will take effect, and I will RULE THE WORLD!"
Sally's parents looked slightly more excited. This was the first they had heard of a second plan. "Plan Fishmonger'sWife?" Sally's mother asked. "I met a fishmonger's wife at a bake sale once!"
Harry leered at the poor parents, prostrate on the pavement, peering pointlessly at a pelican.
"No! I'm not that stupid! Now be quiet, or I'll be forced to show you those back to back episodes of Intrepid Journeys until you fall asleep! And trust me, that won't take long!"
Sally's parents fell silent. Wise decision.

Suddenly, and without warning, a wall in Harry's compound exploded. And through the hole came.... Taylor! (Though he doesn't feature much in this blognovel, I thought now could be his time to shine.)
"The gig's up, Harry!" Taylor cried heroically (though he doesn't feature much in this blognovel), brandishing a bazooka, machine gun, and several small water balloons.

p c : : n c