Flash! (Back)
So yeah. I was cutting the lawn with hedge trimmers. Pretty weird, huh, I mean, most people use lawnmowers to cut their lawns. Not me. I don't like to waste the petrol. I like to conserve my money, so I can spend it on my one hobby.
Mills and Boone novels. Yeah, it might sound corny, but I really like the plots, and I imagine it's me playing the guy in every love story. I have the first printed copy of every Mills and Boone ever made. Except for one. Love in Kirkutsk. My ex-best friend Chester slept overnight outside the bookstore to get it. I was really disappointed, as Love in Kirkutsk is probably like the greatest love story ever written. Poor Nikolai must fight for the love of Alexandria, who is more interested in the elderly, rich, Sven. See why?
Anyway,
Here I am, hacking away brutally at the lawn, when Holga and Burton turn up, Burton looking noticeably mousey. I even hear him squeak, occasionally.
"Hallo thear my boay." Holga said to me (she's Swedish, and her accent is quite strong.)
I stand up from my morning's mutilation and nod cordially (lime flavour) to Holga and Burton. They have come around to collect my rent. (Renting from my aunt is cheaper, so I can spend more money on Mills and Boone. Anything to save money for the greatest books ever written, I always say. No really, I do.)
"'Ave you go' the rent then?" Burton asked, oh so politely. (He's Fijian, and for an unknown reason, speaks with a Cockney accent.)
"Yeah." I say, and hand the money over. Burton counts it carefully, and does that weird thing where you lick your finger before you count. I think it's gross, I mean, all the germs and stuff. Ew.
Burton stuffs my noticeably wetter money in his pocket, and turns to leave.
"Goodbaaey my sveet leatle pea!" Holga trills, as they walk back to their car.
SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING A MAN SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY BELCHES LOUDLY.
Not that this has anything to do with the plot of course, I just thought you'd like to know. I could hear it from my place. Man, it was one awesome burp.
Anyway, (2)
As Holga and Burton drive away, I hear the phone ringing.
Not realising the potentially life-changing consequences of this particular phonecall, I walk inside and pick up the phone.
"Hello, Pete Wilson speaking!" I say enthusiastically.
Previous chapter : : Next chapter
Mills and Boone novels. Yeah, it might sound corny, but I really like the plots, and I imagine it's me playing the guy in every love story. I have the first printed copy of every Mills and Boone ever made. Except for one. Love in Kirkutsk. My ex-best friend Chester slept overnight outside the bookstore to get it. I was really disappointed, as Love in Kirkutsk is probably like the greatest love story ever written. Poor Nikolai must fight for the love of Alexandria, who is more interested in the elderly, rich, Sven. See why?
Anyway,
Here I am, hacking away brutally at the lawn, when Holga and Burton turn up, Burton looking noticeably mousey. I even hear him squeak, occasionally.
"Hallo thear my boay." Holga said to me (she's Swedish, and her accent is quite strong.)
I stand up from my morning's mutilation and nod cordially (lime flavour) to Holga and Burton. They have come around to collect my rent. (Renting from my aunt is cheaper, so I can spend more money on Mills and Boone. Anything to save money for the greatest books ever written, I always say. No really, I do.)
"'Ave you go' the rent then?" Burton asked, oh so politely. (He's Fijian, and for an unknown reason, speaks with a Cockney accent.)
"Yeah." I say, and hand the money over. Burton counts it carefully, and does that weird thing where you lick your finger before you count. I think it's gross, I mean, all the germs and stuff. Ew.
Burton stuffs my noticeably wetter money in his pocket, and turns to leave.
"Goodbaaey my sveet leatle pea!" Holga trills, as they walk back to their car.
SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING A MAN SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY BELCHES LOUDLY.
Not that this has anything to do with the plot of course, I just thought you'd like to know. I could hear it from my place. Man, it was one awesome burp.
Anyway, (2)
As Holga and Burton drive away, I hear the phone ringing.
Not realising the potentially life-changing consequences of this particular phonecall, I walk inside and pick up the phone.
"Hello, Pete Wilson speaking!" I say enthusiastically.
Previous chapter : : Next chapter
posted by Musings | 11:03 PM
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