A Brief Pause

I decide that I had better find out what is going on.
"But, why Mumsy?" I ask, like Smythesonfield Jr. asked his mother following her disappearance and subsequent reappearance following his wedding to Jacquelinia in Never Twice Falls the Sunlight.
The gnarly looking elf with the menacing finger looks confused.
"Why are you asking me?" he asks like an Al Pacino wannabe.
Now I look confused.
"Aren't you my Mumsy?" I ask.
"No!" exclaims the elf, seemingly taken aback by this query.
"Then why are you wearing that regal looking clothing????!!!!" I demand, referring to the slightly ambiguous and now deliberately twisted sentence from the chapter before this one.

The elf coughes into his hand loudly and mutters something about the comfort level of regal clothing, and how he is making a statement about gender equality and the price of oil in Turkmenistan and that it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I think it does, and that could I please not tell the other Roger-elves, before continuing: "But thats not important! Your Mumsy is there."
He doesn't beckon anywhere, because his finger is already outstretched towards the tallish blond woman, and I realise that she is...

"Mumsy!" I exclaim.
"If youse come any closer, the broad gets it!" The elf menaces in a New York mafia accent.
I stay where I am.
Now what?

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