Mums-eh?

Quickly I run like a quick brown fox jumping over a lazy dog towards my mother.
"Mumsy!" I cry... I mean, "Mumsy!" I declare heroically and manly-ly without any hint of tears.
"Petey? Little Petey? My chubby-bubby little Petey-weetey. Oh you're such a little cutsey-wutesy little..."

It goes on like this for quite some time.
I sigh.

"Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore," I whine like a little kid, "And we're being invaded by the Roger-elves. We've got to go." I stamp my feet impatiently.
"Now hang on just a moment, young man," Trevor scolds, "I'm not going anywhere until I've made the bed, had a nice quiet cuppa, brushed my teeth, and put my feet up for a while. You'll just have to tell these friends of yours to hold their horses."
"But Mom... its an invasion," I plead.
"Thats no excuse," Mumsy rebukes me, "They're just going to have to learn how to play fair."

Its at this stage I throw a miniature paddy (from Carrick-on-Shannon, County Leitrim, in the province of Connacht, Republic of Ireland), and storm off to help the others.

I'm sure Mumsy will turn up when she is good and ready, but it obviously will be a while!

**********

Meanwhile, up in the town centre, the battle rages. Roger elves fight violently against the elephants, but relatively futilely it seems, from the number of suspiciously elf-like pancakes now scattered around.

However, the Roger-elves have been doing far better versus the candy-coated warriors (whom I suppose could have come up with a better war-cry than 'Bite me'), and Melvin, Trixie, and the Candy-King (with a few surviving warriors) have been boxed into a corner by the circle-ing elves who are triangulating in on their positions in a very geometric arrangement.

If the elephants were able to get to them, they would be okay, but just as one elephant goes to support them, a wave of kamikaze fridges enters the courtyard, and the elephants are faced with another enemy.

Now Melvin, Trixie, and the candy-people are trapped by Roger-elves in one corner, and the elephants are trapped by kamikaze fridges in another.

The only person not currently trapped (except for my mother, who is doubtless still vacuuming the carpet or something) is me.

Me.

Time to be a hero I guess.

All I need to do is come up with something brilliant....

....

...dang.

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