And after dark...
Rule Number 19 in the Q Dimension: The hero of the story can change at any moment.
Harold stood stock still, his knees and bottom lip quivering simultaneously, making two distinct sounds, a "brrbrbrbrb"-ing and a "knock"-ing (the latter of these may or may not actually be a word) so that he sort of sounded like a fridge riding a horse.
Roger lay still, his feet protuding from the wheat, while he tried to repeat his earlier curse but unfortunately the second time it wasn't quite so sweet, he was off beat and his mouth was replete with wheat.
Percy continued to chuckle away at the television, which was now no longer playing The Fresh Prince re-runs but had moved on to an even more agonisingly 90s style family comedy, Full House. After that, Home Improvement was on the horizon. Percy settled in for a good night of jokes originating from a world without small cellphones, household internet, Twitter, and style.
And in the West, the sun set.
All of a sudden the cops surrounding Harold tucked their ticklers back into their holsters (except for clumsly constable Joe, who tucked his into his waistband and accidentally pulled the trigger in the process, tickling his left leg with such force that it shot out at 90 degrees and kicked sergeant Pete in the bum. Joe was subsequently put on traffic duty for the next month) and walked away from the scene of the crime. It was night time! And now, Chuck Norris was on patrol.
** Note. Chuck Norris is never off patrol, but sometimes he lets other people help him, so he can laugh at their patheticness. **
Harold thought quick, to risk being caught on another infringement and facing a roundhouse kick from the Norris himself. He ran over to the pile of Pucean Wheat and pulled hard on Roger's legs.
Slip...
Slide...
Yoink...
And Roger was free!
"Wow, thanks Harold!" Roger said. "Why did you help me?"
Harold muttered something about roundhouse kicks and his beautiful face, but Roger didn't really hear him, because it was under his breath and Full House was up rather loud. Danny and the twins were having a moment.
Roger looked around the room for the clang (or clam) that he had heard earlier. And he realised straight away what had happened. (For he was in this sense, an intuitive genius.)
The anvil had devolved again, which was how the whole awkward incident with Knarl and Larry had occurred. It was currently a photo of Lindsay Lohan, and was devolving at an increased rate.
"Guuuh!" Guuuhed Roger. "ROGER must be nearly a used car salesman now! What can I do? How will I ever save him? What possible device could I locate soon enough to make him ok again?"
"You could always use the spare "ACME Curse-Undoer" we have in this cupboard over here." Harold suggested.
"Harold! That's a brilliant idea! Thank you for your help!"
Roger leapt over to the nearest cupboard and opened the door.
"Uh, Roger..." Harold cautioned,
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE!
It was the wrong cupboard!
That was not the cupboard for the ACME Curse-Undoer, Roger!
It was the cupboard behind which there was A PORTABLE MINIATURE BLACK HOLE!
And Roger was sucked into the vortex.
Gosh, this suddenly got real awkward.
pc..nc
Harold stood stock still, his knees and bottom lip quivering simultaneously, making two distinct sounds, a "brrbrbrbrb"-ing and a "knock"-ing (the latter of these may or may not actually be a word) so that he sort of sounded like a fridge riding a horse.
Roger lay still, his feet protuding from the wheat, while he tried to repeat his earlier curse but unfortunately the second time it wasn't quite so sweet, he was off beat and his mouth was replete with wheat.
Percy continued to chuckle away at the television, which was now no longer playing The Fresh Prince re-runs but had moved on to an even more agonisingly 90s style family comedy, Full House. After that, Home Improvement was on the horizon. Percy settled in for a good night of jokes originating from a world without small cellphones, household internet, Twitter, and style.
And in the West, the sun set.
All of a sudden the cops surrounding Harold tucked their ticklers back into their holsters (except for clumsly constable Joe, who tucked his into his waistband and accidentally pulled the trigger in the process, tickling his left leg with such force that it shot out at 90 degrees and kicked sergeant Pete in the bum. Joe was subsequently put on traffic duty for the next month) and walked away from the scene of the crime. It was night time! And now, Chuck Norris was on patrol.
** Note. Chuck Norris is never off patrol, but sometimes he lets other people help him, so he can laugh at their patheticness. **
Harold thought quick, to risk being caught on another infringement and facing a roundhouse kick from the Norris himself. He ran over to the pile of Pucean Wheat and pulled hard on Roger's legs.
Slip...
Slide...
Yoink...
And Roger was free!
"Wow, thanks Harold!" Roger said. "Why did you help me?"
Harold muttered something about roundhouse kicks and his beautiful face, but Roger didn't really hear him, because it was under his breath and Full House was up rather loud. Danny and the twins were having a moment.
Roger looked around the room for the clang (or clam) that he had heard earlier. And he realised straight away what had happened. (For he was in this sense, an intuitive genius.)
The anvil had devolved again, which was how the whole awkward incident with Knarl and Larry had occurred. It was currently a photo of Lindsay Lohan, and was devolving at an increased rate.
"Guuuh!" Guuuhed Roger. "ROGER must be nearly a used car salesman now! What can I do? How will I ever save him? What possible device could I locate soon enough to make him ok again?"
"You could always use the spare "ACME Curse-Undoer" we have in this cupboard over here." Harold suggested.
"Harold! That's a brilliant idea! Thank you for your help!"
Roger leapt over to the nearest cupboard and opened the door.
"Uh, Roger..." Harold cautioned,
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE!
It was the wrong cupboard!
That was not the cupboard for the ACME Curse-Undoer, Roger!
It was the cupboard behind which there was A PORTABLE MINIATURE BLACK HOLE!
And Roger was sucked into the vortex.
Gosh, this suddenly got real awkward.
pc..nc
posted by Musings | 6:58 PM
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