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Rule Number 16 in the Q Dimension: Beards are completely awesome, and everyone who has one instantly gains 25 awesome points, and becomes cooler than a camel at the North Pole.

Lets pause for a moment and recap where we are in the story:

Roger is locked in Momma Bear’s room. He has a broken collarbone, a broken hand, a stubbed toe, and no tea-cosies.

Larry, with flames in his eyes, has just psychotically pulverized Percy with the Really Impressively Big And Deadly (And Unnecessarily Long Named) Laser Gun (RIBAD(AULN)LG).

Percy has been pulverized, and is therefore in a small pile of powder or dust on the floor (as implied by the word ‘pulverized’).

Harold is hiding from Larry in Baby Bear’s room.

ROGER, in celery form, having struck Larry in the head, is now protruding from Larry’s ear.

Ernie is on his way home for chicken wings.

Dark and Mysterious Driver is driving him (darkly-and-mysteriously).

Randy is off-air now that Idol has finished.

No one knows where Martin is.

Lets continue. Someone hit play please…

***

Things were not going as Roger had planned. He couldn’t understand why - his plan had been foolproof. How could leaping into the midst of a bunch of gun-wielding thugs whilst only holding a collection of tea-cosies (and whilst having a broken collarbone, hand, and stubbed toe) not lead immediately to the bunch of thugs surrendering, apologising for the inconvenience, and returning his friend to his natural state?

Looking around Momma Bear’s room, he tried to observe everything carefully. What would MacGuyver do in his situation? There was a pile of rope, a grappling hook, a stick of dynamite, three guns, a gag, a gas mask, and a smoke grenade. There was also a book entitled Breaking Out Of The Enemy Hideout by Robin Banks.

Roger’s mind whirred like a dictionary.

Eventually he had a plan. Opening the book, he quickly began ripping pages out. He could SO make a raft from this!

***

Things were still not going as Harold had planned. He couldn’t understand why - his plan had been foolproof. How could allowing Ernie to give the Really Impressively Big And Deadly (And Unnecessarily Long Named) Laser Gun - With The Incredibly Awkward Acronym (RIBAD(AULN)LG-WTIAA) to the most unstable of the minions not lead immediately to successfully defeating Roger and ROGER?

Looking around Baby Bear’s room, he tried to observe everything carefully. What would Dora the Explorer do in his situation? There was a shield made of adamantinum, a bullet-proof vest, a steak (Larry’s favourite food) laced with sleeping powder, a blowtorch, and a crudely drawn picture of Goldilocks with the words MEENY BROWK MY CHEER written on it.

Harold’s mind spun like a spider.

Eventually he had a plan. Taking the blowtorch, he began hitting it repeatedly on the wall. He could DIG his way out!

***

Things were not going as Percy had planned. How could throwing a stick of celery made out of the prisoner at the head of the psychotic weirdo with the Really Impressively Big And Deadly (And Unnecessarily Long Named) Laser Gun - With The Incredibly Awkward Acronym And Ability To Pulverize People Into A Pile Of Powder Or Dust (RIBAD(AULN)LG-WTIAAAATPPIAPOPOD) and then gawking at their fiery-eye trick result in anything but getting pulverized into a pile of powder or dust?

Well, he supposed his situation did make sense after all.

Looking around the room as best as he could considering he was a pile of powder or dust, he tried to observe everything carefully. What would David Bosma do in his situation? There was a crazed minion with a piece of celery in one ear holding a Really Impressively Big And Deadly Etc (RIBADE), a pile of tea-cosies that would explode given the right keyword, and a television playing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Sighing, he admitted to himself that it was going to be pretty hard to achieve anything whilst in powder or dust form, and decided to watch tv instead. Anyway, this was a great episode.

***

Things were not going as Larry had -

- Suddenly, the piece of celery in Larry’s ear devolved into a stereotypical anvil, and he fell to the floor with a stereotypical CLANG!!

***

In Momma Bear’s room, Roger looked up.
“What was that ‘clang’?”

***

In Baby Bear’s room, Harold looked up.
“What was that ‘clam’?”
(He had not been listening as carefully).

***

In the main room, Percy laughed as best he could.
Jazz had just been thrown out of the house again.
“Oh Jazz, you so funny” he said to himself.

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