Chapter 14 - The elephant just has to go

"What? You were mumbling, I couldn't make out what you were saying!" Abu cried. "But I can see that your leg is very flat indeed. It is as flat as the deck of a flat-deck truck, or possibly as flat as a flat that has just been flattened by a bulldozer, driven by a fat man. Hmm. Why do they call it a flat, if it isn't even flat?"
I moaned, and tried not to pass out from the pain. Small dot thingies had begun appearing in front of my eyes, and worst of all, it smelt like Abu had forgotten about his deal with the gas.
"Don't worry, my manly mate!" Abu bellowed. "As well as being a Ghurigaly-battering-ram-for-a-SWAT-team extraordinare, I was also enlisted as an ambulance elephant on the other ambulance elephant's day off! We'll travel together!"
Abu picked me up roughly with his trunk and lay me sideways across his expansive, rubbery back.
"Now! Who needs saving?"
The thought of my lovely Ciola (who was actually a possible traitor, sharing moments with Mistral, the thought of it! who would write such a thing?!?!?) in danger gave me strength, determination and a funny itching sensation in my chest. Never mind about the itching, that was just Abu's hairy back.
"Ciola!" I cried. "Ciola needs rescuing!"
"Ciola?" Abu replied. "Sounds like a small string instrument spelt wrong. Gee, her parents must have been retarded when they named her! Bet her last name's out of whack as well!"
I decided not to comment.
"Right! Ciola, here we come!"

Abu marched boldly toward the fort.
"CIOLA!" He trumpeted boldly.
"What?"
"CIOLA!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU ENORMOUS, NOISY PACHYDERM!"
Ciola, lovely Ciola, traitorous, evil, Mistral-moment-sharing Ciola, was standing at the door of the quarry fort looking at Abu with anger.
Abu lifted me off his back, and onto the ground beside Ciola.
"I believe you need rescuing, my lady?" Abu asked heroically.
"No, not really." Ciola replied. "Ned told me you were coming. In fact, it looks like Erstwhile is in more danger here than me. You flattened his leg, you big oaf! I'm going to call animal control on you right now!"
Abu stiffened. (If elephants can do that.)
"Well, I never. How rude! You come into my country and you kicka my dog, and then you call animal control on me! I'm....I'm very offended! Time to leave!"
He turned around and strode off angrily. (Yeah, I guess they can do that, too.)
Ned came buzzing out of the fort. "Oh there you are Erstwhile. Ciola, dinner is ready."
"Thanks Ned." Ciola replied. They shared a moment.

What?!?!?!

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