Chapter 15: Reacting like a Sensible Adult

I gasped loudly, as the shock of such an implausible situation struck me like an elephant from the sky (completely unexpected, quite an ingenious plot twist, and with permanent scarring to my body, in other words). First Ciola and Mistral, now Ciola and Ned??? What was next, Ciola and me????
Well, actually, I wouldn't have minded if that happened...
But that was beside the point!
I was turning a slight shade of green by now, as my internal rantings began building up inside me.
Ciola obviously noticed.
"Whats the matter with you, Erstwhile?"
I exploded, with less than perfect coherence and grammar, but hey, I was upset.
"Ciola! Ned, you, fast, Erstwhile, more, pizza! Fat, Mistral, elephant, Flea! Boxes, Chapter, German, Accountants! Implausibility! Multisyllablic! Green! Mushrooms! Butterfly!!!!!"
In an understanding manner, Ciola gently placed her hand on my shoulder.
I began to calm down, until I realised she was actually stroking Ned, who was back for supper.
"No!!!!" I screamed in a Hulk-like manner, tearing at my shirt and attempting to leap a few kilometres in a single bound - but in reality tripping over my flat leg and face-planting in the dirt.
"Hey, Erst, whats going on?" Ned's voice came from near my ear, "You seem a little stressed."
I decided I had better be the big man: own up to my feelings, bear my soul, expressing my true feelings for Ciola and mourning her decision to pursue other meaningful relationships.
On the other hand, I could be petty and jealous. That also had its advantages.
"Ciola's cheating on you with Mistral!" I screamed.
The slurping noise stopped.
Ned swallowed slowly.
I could almost feel the blood draining from his face as he took in my news - no, wait, that was my blood draining from me into him.
"She what?" he asked.
I turned around and stared at Ciola.

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