FINALLY

As I raced in my solar-powered hovercraft across the Utah Bad-lands, with Trixie Hobbetts sitting beside me, clutching the chalice of power possessively, and Melvin Ertnik sitting the other side, one hand holding his ragged toupee atop his balding head, screaming frightenedly in ancient Gaelic (the only language he could speak at present), while we tried to avoid lazer-fire from the approaching war-choppers, and dodged the buffaloes stampeding the opposite way, I paused for briefly to recall in my mind how events had led to this moment (the events that had started so innocently, such a short time ago, when I was cutting the lawn with hedge-trimmers outside my quiet suburban house in Duston, Ohio, and had not been expecting anything exciting to happen, except for the impending arrival of my frightening Aunt Holga and her mousey husband Burton, unaware that in such a short time so much would be happening to me, around me, and because of me), and then, returning to the present moment, I quickly changed course, taking the hovercraft into a nearby ravine, and concealing it within a handy cave, which would surely give us just enough time to flashback once again to the beginning of the story in order to fully unfold the unfolding plot.

So, the plot had been unfolded. It was rather wrinkled, with several large twists in it, but it seemed to make sense. Unfortunately for us in the handy cave, this didn't count for much, as we still had buffalo and war choppers to contend with. Really, it only helped the reader. Stupid reader, making me stop in a cave like that!
"What do we do?" Trixie cried. "We're stuck! Stupid Reader! Stupid Lark Victory! The choppers and buffalo have us surrounded, and worst of all, it looks like they've hired in some kamikaze fridges as well!"
"Kamikaze fridges?!?!?!" I panicked, knowing their devastating power and kamikaze-ness.
Me and Trixie had a quick panic-fest (entry $5, come along, bring your friends) while Melvin ran around Gaelicising.
"WAIT!" I bellowed, struck by a sudden thought. Yes, it hurt. "Genie Jenny, I wish to be in the magical kingdom!"
Magical ZAP!
And we vanish from the cave, reappearing in the magical kingdom, somewhere near the magical rubbish tip.
Seconds later, the kamikaze fridges demolish the cave we'd been hiding in.
Phew!

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