Where's.... Ernie!
Rule Number 13 in the Q Dimension: Hufflepuff always wins the House Cup.
"Well," Monologued Roger to himself as he strode up to The Dark and Mysterious Doorstep (which conviently had a Dark and Mysterious Doormat laying in front of it, so people could wipe the soles of their Dark and Mysterious shoes and remove mud and other undesirables from them) "This day sure has been adventurous! Glad I stayed at home! I am wondering when the watermelon comes into the story though!"
Roger tried to turn the Dark and Mysterious doorhandle. The door was locked. Roger knocked on the Dark and Mysterious door.
There was a brief pause. Nobody answered the door. (How rude. All the door wanted to know was when its break was, you'd think the least people would do was answer its question.) Nobody came to the door either.
Like he had seen in a movie once, Roger tried to kick the door down. He got it half right. He kicked the door. Unfortunately it didn't fall down. In fact, all that happened was Roger stubbed his toe, and it started to bleed into his sock.
"G-J-F-AAAAARRRGHHH!" Roger cried in pain. But, this was no time for pain. Not unless Roger was BRINGING THE PAIN, that is. So he gritted his teeth and hurled himself at the door, shoulder first. That didn't bring the door down either. It just broke Roger's collarbone. "G-J-F-D-K-S-P-X-YEEEAAAOOOWWWW!" Roger bellowed in agony. But this was not the time, or the place for agony. It was the time for ACTION. Roger swung his fist at the door, hoping to break through it. He got it half right. Something broke. It was his hand. "S-P-K-R-F-J-M-N-Q-X-%-P-D-AAAAAAAA!" Roger roared in torment.
He collapsed by the door in agony. In all of this strenous and nonproductive activity, the Dark and Mysterious doormat had moved around a bit, and Roger noticed a Dark and Mysterious key poking out from under it. "What the heck!" Roger cried. "How ridiculous! What kind of villains would leave a key under the mat for any old bozo to find and break into their house with!" He leant over and painfully picked the key up, stood up, and tried the key in the lock. It worked. Roger let himself in.
And he realised straight away why Ernie wasn't too concerned if people got in through the front door. Because what was now confronting him truly was hideous. Oh, it was dangerous. Oh, it was intense. Oh, it was deadly. Oh, it was systematic. Oh, it was hydromatic. Well, it was... well, you'll find out next chapter :-)
***
On/at the intersection of Roller and Rocking, Stinky was beginning to melt in the sun, and Percy and Dark & Mysterious Truck Driver had started to dip various items of food in the steady flow of melted cheese that was running down his Cheddaresque legs, fondue style.
Harold went up to Ernie's apartment door and reached out to knock on the door. As he went to do so, the door mysteriously opened before him. Well, it wasn't that mysterious. Ernie was just hiding behind it.
"HAHA!" Ernie cried, jumping out from behind the door. "Pranked you Harold!" And with that Ernie squirted Harold with a watergun and gave him a downtrou for good measure.
"Ernie!" Harold replied. "There is serious business to attend to!"
"Mernie Mere mis merious misness moo mattend moo!" Ernie mockingly replied.
Harold looked positively distraught at this. (If you can imagine positive distress. It's kind of like, well, um, yep. You had to be there, and you're not, so, um, just give it your best guess and you'll probably be right.)
"Lighten up Harold!" Ernie chirped. "Being evil is no fun if you can't have fun being evil from time to time!"
Harold scratched his head, trying to work out that confusing proverb. "Um, Ernie, we don't know where the hideout is. I lost the bit of paper with the directions on it you gave me."
"Oh, idiot!" Ernie cried. "Ok, I'll just tell Mum I have to go out and I'll come with you guys and you can drive me there ok? I'll show you the way."
"Yes Ernie!" Harold obediently replied.
Ernie promptly returned. "Cool! Mum says I have to be home by 6 for tea because a boy of 11 like me shouldn't be out after dark, it's not safe! Ok Harold, let's go!"
Ernie and Harold walked back to the truck. Ernie looked up at Stinky. "Flip, is that ROGER? Gosh, he's only a few devolutions away from eternal suffering as a car salesman - MUHAHAHAHAAH!"
Somewhere, thunder rumbled.
Percy, D&MTD, Harold, and Ernie all gently pushed ROGER/Ryan/Stinky over so that he was more or less on the truck. (Though his feet hung off the end and dripped cheese on the road.) Then they all jumped in. (Which looked strange cos if you've ever tried it, in reality it's really hard to "jump" into a vehicle. Percy took several goes to get it right and ended up with some seriously bruised shins!)
And off to the hideout they went! MUHAHAHAHAAH!
pc :': nc
"Well," Monologued Roger to himself as he strode up to The Dark and Mysterious Doorstep (which conviently had a Dark and Mysterious Doormat laying in front of it, so people could wipe the soles of their Dark and Mysterious shoes and remove mud and other undesirables from them) "This day sure has been adventurous! Glad I stayed at home! I am wondering when the watermelon comes into the story though!"
Roger tried to turn the Dark and Mysterious doorhandle. The door was locked. Roger knocked on the Dark and Mysterious door.
There was a brief pause. Nobody answered the door. (How rude. All the door wanted to know was when its break was, you'd think the least people would do was answer its question.) Nobody came to the door either.
Like he had seen in a movie once, Roger tried to kick the door down. He got it half right. He kicked the door. Unfortunately it didn't fall down. In fact, all that happened was Roger stubbed his toe, and it started to bleed into his sock.
"G-J-F-AAAAARRRGHHH!" Roger cried in pain. But, this was no time for pain. Not unless Roger was BRINGING THE PAIN, that is. So he gritted his teeth and hurled himself at the door, shoulder first. That didn't bring the door down either. It just broke Roger's collarbone. "G-J-F-D-K-S-P-X-YEEEAAAOOOWWWW!" Roger bellowed in agony. But this was not the time, or the place for agony. It was the time for ACTION. Roger swung his fist at the door, hoping to break through it. He got it half right. Something broke. It was his hand. "S-P-K-R-F-J-M-N-Q-X-%-P-D-AAAAAAAA!" Roger roared in torment.
He collapsed by the door in agony. In all of this strenous and nonproductive activity, the Dark and Mysterious doormat had moved around a bit, and Roger noticed a Dark and Mysterious key poking out from under it. "What the heck!" Roger cried. "How ridiculous! What kind of villains would leave a key under the mat for any old bozo to find and break into their house with!" He leant over and painfully picked the key up, stood up, and tried the key in the lock. It worked. Roger let himself in.
And he realised straight away why Ernie wasn't too concerned if people got in through the front door. Because what was now confronting him truly was hideous. Oh, it was dangerous. Oh, it was intense. Oh, it was deadly. Oh, it was systematic. Oh, it was hydromatic. Well, it was... well, you'll find out next chapter :-)
***
On/at the intersection of Roller and Rocking, Stinky was beginning to melt in the sun, and Percy and Dark & Mysterious Truck Driver had started to dip various items of food in the steady flow of melted cheese that was running down his Cheddaresque legs, fondue style.
Harold went up to Ernie's apartment door and reached out to knock on the door. As he went to do so, the door mysteriously opened before him. Well, it wasn't that mysterious. Ernie was just hiding behind it.
"HAHA!" Ernie cried, jumping out from behind the door. "Pranked you Harold!" And with that Ernie squirted Harold with a watergun and gave him a downtrou for good measure.
"Ernie!" Harold replied. "There is serious business to attend to!"
"Mernie Mere mis merious misness moo mattend moo!" Ernie mockingly replied.
Harold looked positively distraught at this. (If you can imagine positive distress. It's kind of like, well, um, yep. You had to be there, and you're not, so, um, just give it your best guess and you'll probably be right.)
"Lighten up Harold!" Ernie chirped. "Being evil is no fun if you can't have fun being evil from time to time!"
Harold scratched his head, trying to work out that confusing proverb. "Um, Ernie, we don't know where the hideout is. I lost the bit of paper with the directions on it you gave me."
"Oh, idiot!" Ernie cried. "Ok, I'll just tell Mum I have to go out and I'll come with you guys and you can drive me there ok? I'll show you the way."
"Yes Ernie!" Harold obediently replied.
Ernie promptly returned. "Cool! Mum says I have to be home by 6 for tea because a boy of 11 like me shouldn't be out after dark, it's not safe! Ok Harold, let's go!"
Ernie and Harold walked back to the truck. Ernie looked up at Stinky. "Flip, is that ROGER? Gosh, he's only a few devolutions away from eternal suffering as a car salesman - MUHAHAHAHAAH!"
Somewhere, thunder rumbled.
Percy, D&MTD, Harold, and Ernie all gently pushed ROGER/Ryan/Stinky over so that he was more or less on the truck. (Though his feet hung off the end and dripped cheese on the road.) Then they all jumped in. (Which looked strange cos if you've ever tried it, in reality it's really hard to "jump" into a vehicle. Percy took several goes to get it right and ended up with some seriously bruised shins!)
And off to the hideout they went! MUHAHAHAHAAH!
pc :': nc
posted by Musings | 1:00 AM
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